When people ask me for relationship advice, I usually send them an article I read two years ago, “The True Purpose Of Relationships,” by Anmol Mehta. I recently did this and left my friend to figure it out for himself. Then I started to recall the thoughts I had when I was first introduced to similar info like, THE CELESTINE PROPHECY and THE SECRET. The whole concept of “you attract who you are” confused me. Although I had often heard that your significant other is a reflection of you, during conflicts, it was difficult for me to see how the other person’s behavior was a replica of my own behavior. I knew I had issues to work on but I’d look in the mirror and I failed to see that “Monster.” As I started to heal and break away from those types of relationships, I assumed I was on easy street because I had come closer to creating a circle of supportive relationships. However, after reading Anmol Mehta’s article, I realized there was still work to be done.
“The True Purpose Of Relationships,” begins with a romantic fairy tale and ends with an illustration of lessons learned. Essentially, the article is conveying that the purpose of relationships is simply to learn about yourself and the obstacles you need to resolve. When you experience pain or conflict, it’s an opportunity to look within and find out what in you attracted this outcome. So a particular person’s behavior may not always match yours, but a thought you had or the words of songs that you enjoy listening to or singing… or maybe a fear you have has attracted this particular scenario. For example, if a worrisome entrepreneur starts a business with the fear of losing money. Guess what will happen? Another example would be a person who never gives because they never feel like they have enough. THE GAME OF LIFE AND HOW TO PLAY IT, by Florence Scovel Shinn, is a short book with real life examples, affirmations and suggestions to help its readers recognize and dispel their fears. Here’s a general affirmation that you can start with:
DIVINE LOVE NOW DISSOLVES AND DISSIPATES EVERY WRONG CONDITION IN MY MIND, BODY AND AFFAIRS. DIVINE LOVE IS THE MOST POWERFUL CHEMICAL IN THE UNIVERSE AND IT DISSOLVES EVERYTHING WHICH IS NOT OF ITSELF. – Florence Scovel Shinn
The fears most likely developed from childhood and will take a long time to reverse completely. However, I noticed that within months of saying this affirmation, consistently and with feeling, my scope and life changed for the better. As I write this, it’s a reminder for me to continue using these tools.
THE CELESTINE PROPHECY, by James Redfield, is an enlightening book to read in regards to dramatic relationships. It’s a fiction about a recently discovered ancient document with 9 essential “insights” into life. The characters in the story discover and share the insights so that the reader can absorb each lesson slowly. One of the “insights” reveals the 4 control dramas which people, who were lacking something during childhood, unconsciously use to absorb energy from other people possessing a matching drama. The dramas develop from a child’s need for attention and when the child becomes an adult, they often continue the drama(s) unconsciously or consciously to fulfill their needs. For example, a matching drama for an “intimidator” (Monster) is the “poor me” (Victim). In this instance, the victim doesn’t realize it but he/she has a choice not to be the “victim.” The “victim” gets their attention when people feel guilty, sorry or responsible for them. Likewise, the “intimidator” is fed by people who fear them or through other intimidators. The “interrogator” sucks energy with accusations, usually in the form of a question, their matching dramas are “poor me” or “aloof”. The “aloof” controls people by ignoring them. The book teaches its readers to look beyond the dramas and take a look at the real person. It also offers suggestions to help people dissolve another person’s drama without the use of a matching drama.
The blog title, “Monster” is actually similar to one of those characters like “The Incredible Hulk.” Somewhere deep down, they’re just an ordinary spirit trying to live a human existence, just like you. Just like The Hulk, something or someone is bothering them and they can’t control their behavior. They think it’s necessary to act a certain way due to childhood developed dramas. It might help, if you go to work and remember The Hulk when they come your way. You might laugh, initially, but if you take the time to recognize the good (or child) in them, then you’re one step closer to freedom.
Keep in mind that, at the end of the day, it really boils down to you. Your thoughts, the words you choose to use, the things you do every day, how you treat other people..animals…your environment, and your reactions to any person, place, thing, event and incident create your world. For example, if you’re truly thinking, without doubt, “It’s going to be a beautiful day,” and none of your thoughts actions or words conflict this, then it will be a beautiful day. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll alter the weather or anyone else’s mood. However, you will feel good about your day. On the other hand, if you always talk about the bad economy, have a negative vision of your life or worry about the possibility of people treating you a certain way. Guess what?
In the words of Catherine Ponder, author of OPEN YOUR MIND TO RECEIVE, “Whatever you notice, you are inviting into your life. Whatever you talk about, you are inviting into your life. Whatever you identify with in your thoughts, words and actions, you are inviting into your life.” I thank my mom, for giving me many books like this one, which is filled with very useful affirmations. As you may already know from its title, once you begin to free your mind of drama and fear, you make room for prosperity.
There’s an affirmation that I would like to share for those of you who wish to be free of a relationship or addiction. Say it as many times as you like, especially when you wake up and before sleeping. Warning: this could significantly change your life…especially the people in it. It has a Christian slant though I’m confident it will work just as well, if you substitute “Christ” with names like Allah, Buddha, God, Jah, Obatala, Saraswati, Shiva or words like spirit, love and energy.
“CHRIST IN ME NOW FREES ME FROM ALL RESENTMENT OR ATTACHMENT TOWARD OR FROM ALL PEOPLE PLACES OR THINGS OF THE PAST OR PRESENT. I MANIFEST MY TRUE PLACE WITH THE TRUE PEOPLE AND WITH THE TRUE PROSPERITY NOW.” – Catherine Ponder
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